A Conversation

There's nothing like a great talk with one of your friends.

I spent the entire day with Ashlie, and it reminded me of those good old times when all I did was hang out with friends - who are not guys. Lately, I've been spending my time with guys, and that's cool and what not...but they are not the same as girls. They don't like to talk about things you would normally talk with a girl, and they are...just not the same. I remember when all I did was lounge around the house with my friend Casey. I looked up to her, even though she was only a year older than I was - she always seemed to have more confidence than me. But, we would sit around her house, talking about who knows what, and just take time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Today, that same feeling came to me as I lounged around Ashlie's house, watching TV and eating food...and then sitting in her room just talking. Talking...yes...I am the type of person who would just give up hours of her time to sit with someone and just talk. A real conversation, talk...

Talk...now I'm just talking to myself...but I need to just ramble all my thoughts. After we talked tonight, an oppressive feeling overcame me. I realized how angry I was at a certain someone. Yes, this certain someone merely tore me apart, even though it was on a much smaller scale than it could be. We only had a month-long relationship, and within the relationship itself it was a bit awkward. But, I felt things were really warming up that very day he crushed the whole thing. What do you call it when he puts his arm around my shoulder, cuddling on the floor, making it appear that things were going alright - then saying he didn't want to carry it on any more? And this week has just been even harder, considering the fact I haven't been able to speak to him because he is sailing on a cruise ship to Jamaica and back. All week I wanted to tell him how I feel, and how I am still trying to cope with this situation. I was looking through the yearbook a few days ago, and I literally hit his face with my fist when I came across it. BAM! Take that, you jerk! Argh...what to do?

All I can do right now is wait...I've waited for so long, and I guess I can wait some more...wait...and talk...and wait...