It's Been Over a Year...

...and here I am.

I'm tired. I want to not do anything. I am complaining, and I know that I shouldn't.

Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant.

I'm just annoyed, I guess you can say, about others around me. Sometimes I wonder how loyal my "friends" really are. One in particular, I don't understand why his character fluctuates.

First impression: self-absorbed jackass.
Getting to know him: sensitive and very caring. humorous too.
Spending time with him: great.
Infatuation: exhilarating, bemusing, upsetting.
Post Infatuation: still hopeful for more than just a buddy.
Light-years from Infatuation: annoyed. impatient with arrogance, questioning my own ignorance of this before. feeling "used".

Kris explained that I'm more of a "constant" friend to this person. He expects me to be there for him when he needs. But if he doesn't, he can go about his business and almost "forget" me.

"When he comes by the room, it really throws him off if you're not here. It appears that he expects you to be here so he can feel better about himself."

How can my presence satisfy his selfish desires? Saying, "Hello, how are you?" strikes his ego and allows him to think that I actually care about his mood? Lately, I honestly can say I don't. I feel awful to admit it, but the way he's been treating me makes it so.

How did I get in this position? How can one create a collection of friends like this? It's absurd, and certainly ridiculous. But, there's nothing I can really do about it.

Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Rant.

Close-mindedness.