Long Time No See

I seemed to have neglected my blogger...I don't know why - I think my life has gone completely insane these last few months. Despite my lack of commitment to this internet journal, I'm going to write tonight. Besides, who reads this anyways?

I am slow to realize that I am growing up. I have one more year of highschool left...and after that I head to college. I am almost clueless when it comes to deciding what I want to do with life and where I want to go, it is beginning to scare me. My worst nightmare is to fail in life, and regret any decisions that effected my failure. I have always suceeded in everything - and I worked hard to get where I am now. I have always put in more effort than what's expected...and I get noted for my aspirations. So, in reality, I should go to a school that appreciates my hard work and creative spirit in order for me to get what I want. But, I have this little pessimistic feeling in me saying that I will not always get what I want...and it scares me. I am anal when it comes to colleges, and for some reason I will never be satisfied if I attend LCCC or UW. The one thing that I do not like about Wyoming is the fact that the majority of highschool kids declare that Wyoming is the only place where they can go to school. There are so many other schools in our country that exceed far beyond the academics of UW...so many other environments...so many other people...so many opportunities. The highschool administrations do not make this situation any better - counselors, principles, and teachers proclaim that, "UW has this," and, "UW has that"... but what about those other colleges across the nation? Isn't highschool supposed to be a place to explore and discover opportunities that will help students decide what to do with life? Yet, instead our highschools are merely being advertisors for UW...or LCCC...or whatever. It's almost sick.

It is almost midnight, and there are so many thoughts running through my head at the same time. Thoughts about school, thoughts about this summer, thoughts about my previoius trip to Europe, thoughts about tennis, thoughts about him, thoughts about sleeping...thoughts about life. I could write a novel if I were to write about everything that was on my mind at the momemt - yet since I don't have the time nor patience, I will just sleep on it. Sleep is good to me, so I shall acquire it.

This was merely a rant...oh well, rants are alright - especially when it is 11:56 pm and you have no one to talk to except your fingers and your keyboard.